Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Day 5 without her, i can pretend i am fine when i am out with my friends, but i can't hide my emotion when i reach home, when no one is around, i don't know how long it will takes to recover. i know life still goes on, i am trying really hard.
i am no longer her only one, but she still my only one. everyday i just hope she will sent me an sms, i will keep checking on my handphone whether she got reply etc.., and what she is doing right now.
why am i doing this!!!!! i hate myself, knowing she won't be online today just make me feel bad.
i don't know why am i doing this, i can't imagine just barely a month, i know sooner or later we won't be contacting anymore. i can feel she is trying to avoid me, or maybe i think too much.
4 years ago, when i broke off with zr its takes two full year of national service to make me forget about her, i dont know this time round i will take how long, never in my life i feel so bad.
i know when i came over to australia she must be feeling the same, but as least we are still together, i do what i can and put in effort to make this relationship last, but end up i am the one to destory it, i know i will regret, actually i am not that tough afterall. i feel weak.
nothing for me to look forward, i don't know what i am suppose to do. i thought life will be better for us after i complete my studies here. not anymoree.. no one will understand how i feel, i guess i make all the wrong choice, end up regreting regret.....YES I REGRET!!!!!!
at this point of time, finally i can fully understand what my brother go through. i know i should talk to him more when he is in germany.
i think this song reflect on my current situation........
那一条牙膏在对我傻笑
嘲笑我永远用不掉
想睡就睡想闹就闹
好快乐少了人唠叨
蓝色的碗盘多买了一套
我忘了没人陪我通宵
要多少替代的丑角无辜的陪笑
才会让我能真的忘了你的好
我在搞笑藉着热闹掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑偏要说着一个人真好
当人群散了突然觉得我可以死掉我受不了
还在搞笑害怕回家不知怎麽熬
这麽多年早就习惯有你的撒娇
我想我能熬但是至少要让我知道你好不好
我们的小狗食量变好小
眼神里常常显得无聊
它习惯睡觉的床尾少了一双脚
所以它常常看着门口睡不着
我在搞笑藉着热闹掩盖着心跳
边哭边笑偏要说着一个人真好
当人群散了突然觉得我可以死掉我受不了
我在搞笑却在醉后眼泪拼命飙
你的离开失去多少我计算不了
忙完了一天突然觉得又何必辛劳对谁炫耀
还在搞笑是否拥有麻痹的疗效
唱一夜歌却避不开催泪的曲调
我彻夜胡闹希望听到有人会提到你好不好
This song reflect on my emotion thoughts n feeling
吃不能吃睡不能睡
没有了你全都不对
我都学不会把爱敷衍
用笑容来把眼泪催眠
笑不能笑哭不敢哭
人不像人鬼不像鬼
朋友都说这不过失恋
但我却连呼吸都胆怯
能不能不爱了因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了却无法把你忘了
能不能不爱了爱情它太痛了
我痛得快死了却无法把爱割舍
...我不能睡...
我不能够不能够不爱了
I can't take it.........in the name of jesus, help me!!!!!!!
always waiting. -8/19/2009 10:48:00 PM
the one who waits.
Name: hOnG yUaN
Bdae: Oct 14 86
Nicks: Jack
Skool: University of Newcastle
Contact:
the adorations
Food:
Drinks:
Pastimes:
People:
the detested
People:
Things:
Food:
and they say
the roads that lead away.
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